Category Archives for Blog

Giggling at the beauty of the water 

Dear Beloved, 

When the tides turn, and all that you have asked for comes flooding towards you in the most spectacular way.

Will you run away from it, screaming about getting your feet wet?

Or will you dance in the crashing waves, giggling at the beauty of the water all around you? 
We certainly hope it’s the second one, because there’s a tsunami (a totally safe and perfectly controlled in just the right amount you can handle it arriving all at once but really in perfect timing kind of tsunami)

There’s a tsunami of everything you want, (and have wanted) coming your way… 
And we wanted to give you early warning..

That if you don’t remember to dance in the waves…

it could feel overwhelming.. and almost like *Not* what you wanted.

Which would be a little bit like running scared from everything you ever dreamed of. And you know better than that by now…

Don’t you?
Love JoyGasm
Ps. If you haven’t already started doing I LOVE YOU’s Daily… you should probably start, because 2017 is going to be the year they said “she took life by the hot seat, and sat on it” … in ALL the history books. Because in 2017 you’re that hot. For real.

Meeting Your Future Self

5 years ago I wrote myself a letter from the future.

I was very pregnant and had just moved back in with my parents, having gotten it through my head that my relationship with my sons bio-dad was not going to be supportive of me as a new mom. I was depressed, desperate, in my first months of business, and not even that excited about baby being born, just glad that the ache in my back would be gone soon, and I would have some space in my belly. In those pregnant days life was a dark and fearful place.

I sat down, entered, and connected to my future self. She was sitting in Morocco, at a cafe, and laughing with her partner. She was sipping tea, and talking about the possibilities. Wizing through parallel realities of what “might happen when we get up from the table” would we meet someone to take us on an adventure, would we walk down the beach, would we stumble over a camel, or make out in the park… what would be the most fun. My partner and I turn to each other, and laugh. We know exactly which one seems most fun.

We set our collective intent upon it, and release it.

When it’s time to pay the bill, we get up, and start off into the buzzing market. Within a few moments, we encounter a woman, and it’s clear to both of us, she is the gateway to our adventure. We introduce ourselves, follow her, and she leads us to a community like the one we’ve been searching for. We laugh at the perfection of creation, and enjoy the heck out the afternoon with her. We have met another family member, and we are powerful in our creation.

This sense of mastery, of freedom, of choice and receiving, is something I’ve caught in glimpses and in moments over the years.

Like desiring to go to Afest, and getting an invite that seemed impossible. Meeting a lover who strikes every chord in my body. Letting go of moments of anger deeply felt in the past. People lining up in majestic perfection. Life showing me in perfect harmony what is needed for the transformation of being set free. Magic indescribable I’ve seen happen. And this frustration that the intensity seems to happen only in short bursts. And at the time I wrote this letter, it was a hopeful melody, echoing back from the past. This playful nature of my future self, seemed unreachable, unattainable to my depressed, repressed and abused self.

It was at the time, only a dream from the future.. to give me hope and pull me forwards.

Well, I’m excited to say that next week, I go to meet my future self. My partner Maxim and I fly to Morocco. Alex, that babe in my belly is now almost 6, and passionate in his own right about what “most fun” is. I never knew a reason WHY I wanted to go to Morocco, only that I would go. And now the moment is upon me. I have gathered who I thought I would be..

realizing that my life now, is unrecognizable from the woman of 5 years ago.

Sure, I still have moments of struggle, of getting caught in mind games and worry and fear. But my attitude, my general experience, and my perception of myself are so different than the scared and fearful girl I was those years ago. They say you don’t know what you’re made of until you try. I didn’t know how strong I was until the last 5 years dragged me to a pit and beat me.  I thought that was bad, but.. nothing compared to what came after that.

I really learned how strong I am when I dragged my own butt out of that pit kicking and screaming with parts of me trying to get back into the pit.

And I’m realizing how strong am I now.. Being strong in loving it it. In loving myself through it. And in being strong enough to let myself have what I want. Live how I want. Travel with the dream family I’ve always wanted (and that’s more than just 3 of us! if you want to come travel along, we’re making rooms for you!)

If you’ve dreamed it. You can do it.

Keep the faith, enjoy the ride, and celebrate the heck out of moments like this. Where you really do see dreams (and future letters) come true.

Love Elena

A love note to inner peace. 

Dear Beloved,
When the shift comes, and love rearranges the molecules of your heart, and lets you know that you’re truly okay. When you’re seen in just the right way to let your guard down (that much more!), and let it ALL settle in… That for real… you’re worthy. For real… you’re the shit! For real… you make someone’s world alight and align, and all you have to do is not throw a hissy fit. And even THEN they love you, even when you do. That’s a moment to take a deep breath, and remember “I deserve this too.”
I release the past, the future and the present. I surrender to the moment, inside, and unpleasant. I let myself go, to the feeling inside, let it all flow. There’s nothing to hide. I face it dead on. I love myself through. No matter what patterns of the past, and fear try to do. I love myself fiercely and truthfully too. I follow my path, and my heart, and my feet… How about you?
What changes must happen? For your life to align… if the vision I’ve set seems so different than thine? The words that we speak, they don’t come from here, they come from the collective, OUR words, if I dare.

Our culture is growing, our community strong. We stand undivided over rivers, lakes, and songs. We unite our proud voices, giving rise to the shift. Not longer content with the cultural drift. We’ve all seen it happen, sometimes through misery, or surrounded by song, another Awakens, and starts singing along. It’s changing faster now, and those of us who, have been here a while, well we have more work to do! To button our hats, and show them the way. How to a live amidst chaos, with bliss inside…. everyday.
As Chiron squares Venus, the stars are aligned. To see the truth of your hurts, the scars in your mind. Our mind telling us lies, makes for pain in our hearts. Now let go of those moments.. just as quick as it starts. (These moments of pain, coming up to bite you in the ass when you’re right on the edge. You might want to curse them… but then you remember instead..) You’ve got years of history turning stardust into mystery, pain in to pleasure, and hurtful words into love’s unending refrain. These moments no different. Just do the same.
You came here with reason, to create something new, something way beyond what you knew how to do. You came here to become a master. A great beautiful disaster. Turned into a masterpiece in community, a group of people who will set your heart free.. A master.. a master… a great beautiful disaster… And the longer you put it into the future, the longer it’s going to take for you to realize that you were BORN a master. Born a god and goddess, born love incarnate, and you’ve simply forgotten along the way. You’re already, in so many ways.. a master. Not by changing a single thing about you, but by simply turning your attention, (In that special way that only you do) Just by simply turning your attention, moment by moment towards love that’s true. You deserve it Beloved. Will you claim it for you?

I do.
Love JoyGasm

Feel like you are failing?

Dear Beloved,

In space and time, you might feel like you are failing, slow, behind, or sucking in some way.
And if you’re giving power to that, we recognize that it’s real FOR YOU in your experience.

But try on our way of looking at it.
You’re always in the perfect space, so if you happened to get your face smashed in,
it’s so that 4 years from now you get to be the life of the party,
telling the story of how you made it through, and got to be the hero of the day.

Yes. It’s a bit twisted, but when you look at it our way,
atleast it has a silver lining. Bwahahaha

Love JoyGasm

#1 Key to Fixing A Shit Fight

What does it take to go from screaming rage (or silent resentment) to loving hugs? Sometimes it seems like the most difficult journey to find the courage to really connect and open myself up to my partner. Sometimes I WANT to fight and stay stuck and in pain. Yet the pain of being in disagreement with him is the worst. Have you ever experienced this?   
I feel like I often choose the more difficult (aka interesting) path, and as such within 2 months of dating eachother Max and I decided to start doing business together. On top of traveling the world. On top of him figuring out how to be a parent to a (sometimes mouthy) 5 year old. On top of being pretty darn broke, and dealing with my sometimes pretty emotionally broken self (aka I used to be an abusive relationship and forget people can be nice when they love eachother) 
So.. with all of that together.. There are at least 6 different kinds of relationships we are in together (work, parenting, travel, love relationship, lovers, friends). There are a lot of different points where things can get derailed. Not making love in the morning can throw off our whole work day, and we have moments of chaos and pain fairly often (on days like today it seems like more often than not.. which my rational brain says isn’t actually true). I’m also more fulfilled an happy than I have been in years. It’s a delicate balance every day. 
Today I came upstairs with an offering of food an hour or so after we’d argued on the balcony about something work related. I thought only to bring a peace offering, but apparently it was actually only to continue the argument. An hour later, I realized that we were getting nowhere, my heart was closed, and it wanted to stay that way. There was probably not going to be a resolution to this moment, and I shared it verbally with him. I had completely forgotten that it’s in our relationship contract to “never go to bed angry”, and he reminds me. I’m going to HAVE to resolve this before bed. Shit.  
“I don’t want to open with you, I want to stay angry.” I almost spit the words at him. Amazingly, this gives me space to open. “Tell me how you really feel” he says.. “I’m so mad, I want to F*ing drop kick you and run away” Comes out of my mouth. (I’m such a lady). “You have permission to hit me and run away.” He says. This may seem like a strange thing to say, but it’s one of our ways of loving eachother. Not that I ever ACTUALLY do it!!!! But the permission to, seems to calm me down, and realize I’m freaking out.  
In a previous moment, someone guided us to find out what we felt we needed to “fix it” when we’re triggered, what we MOST want to do to make the problem of a massively triggered heart and fight/flight response clear it’self out. For me that looks like a savage kick to the head, and bolting. For him it looks like a hug and being told “it’s okay”. MASSIVELY different needs for the resolution of our stress from a moment like the one above. 
I recognized years ago that the violence of my heart is too much for my action to match it. My rational mind gently tethers “raging Elena”, my feminine emotions far to strong to let them move my fists to action. Cities would have been decimated, and men torn to shreds if I truly let the Kali inside of me out. But the permission, the permission to hit and run gives me space to realize he does care about me, and to say “I’ll be back in 5 minutes” and run downstairs (without punching anyone) and bawl in the bed for a bit. I realize I love myself enough to give myself this moment of expression, which is what I really need.  
I come back, slightly better, but atleast I’ve broken the seal. I find that once I start crying in any argument it usually gets resolved shortly, because……. (THE ENERGY STARTS MOVING)……  
We talk and I cry on my own. (Don’t touch me!). I realize there are parts of me which DO NOT want to resolve this.. want to stay angry and stay justified in their fearful actions. We talk more openly and I cry, but lean forwards this time.. As my forhead touches the cold tile his hands reach out and rest on my head, softly stroking my hair.. I’m releived to feel that I don’t pull back. I am now more open, maybe I will be open to resolution. I can feel the desire brew within me. We talk more, and I can feel that the resolution is near. My voice finds the deep truth of this disagreement, why I have been pushing away from him. “I don’t feel like I deserve to be loved by someone who is as kind to me as you are. I don’t deserve this kind of love.” He holds my gaze and I can finally look back at him after avoiding his eyes all day. The compassion is obvious, and I keep crying, I can see the spot on the tile where my tears have made funny shapes when my hair brushed it. I try not to sit on them as we move closer, and I lean into him as I cry. Our hearts both soothed by eachother, and the feeling that we are in harmony again. The discomfort and disagreement of the day has transformed and transmuted.  
As I lean into him I feel held and loved. I realize that through this moment (yet again) I have been given the opportunity to face the wounds of my past, to open my heart, (to him, and to myself) and to love myself even deeper than before. Not only that, but navigating each of these moments (and we know this deeply though we forget in the moment often) brings us closer and more in love with each other than we’ve ever been. The challenge IS the food of our relationship, and the catalyst for our growth.  

Free Training on Self Love and Getting Comfortable with Emotional Expression ===>

Gasm The Fear

Elena's point of view.
Maxim's point of view

We've lined up our flights, an early afternoon train, a day in Barcelona, staying up too late in the airport and then a 6:20am flight to our next destination. Morocco. Home of Tajine, Hummus, markets for days, and blessed 20 degree weather in the middle of the cold European winter. Life feels like a dream, and it is.

But then… I go to get our passport to book the flights, and when I pull open our passport wallet, it's not there. My passport is missing. My brain searches, as I run around the house looking for it. It's straight out of a nightmare.

My mind whirs with worry, anxiety, fear, panic. WHERE IS IT?!?!?! I start running worst case scenarios. I can't leave the country, my visa will expire, I'm going to be deported. I can't travel anywhere. Oh I'll just got get a new one in Barcelona.. But wait.. I can't. Because. I'm about to use my last $400 to book an apartment for next month in Morocco. I'm putting the flights on my credit card, counting on my next payment from my client to come in before the bill is due. It usually works out.

But now I have to spend 2 days, maybe a week or more in Barcelona getting my passport sorted. I don't have the extra $300 in AirBnB places for that long, never mind food, transport, changed flights etc. What am I going to do?

This is the reality of it. After 9 years of traveling the world with various amounts of cash, Max and I are now sitting to the south of Spain and living month to month. We've got to be out of the country in 32 days, and need to get airfare and first months rent in our next place. None of which we have cash for in our bank accounts. Life traveling the world isn't all it's cracked up to be when you're addicted to travel and can't seem to break through into abundance sharing your JoyGasmic passion in the world.

It's a make or break kind of moment, and after we find the passports, a huge conversation comes to light. Do we want to go to Morocco, or would Moscow to his parent's place be a much wiser, saner, more financially stable decision?

I am looking at my budget and the only thing I see is 73EUR left for November after all the travel expenses and rent for one month(Nov-Dec). Which means we need to double our income before we go to Morocco to be able to rent a place in December. It's a challenge which we are putting in front of ourselves. We cut all unnecessary expenses(like eating out once a week), cancel all non business related services and get ready to GASM it!

At the end of the day, after crunching the numbers, we choose in favor of Morocco. Adventure, passion, instability, uncertainty, and excitement lead the way. With an "in case shit" backup plan of "lets set aside $400 as soon as we can so we can at least fly ourselves to Moscow"… and then back to the parents house.

So we choose the more adventurous path and we ask ourselves. 

What does it take to face your fears? To make lasting change and become a brand new person? To live the life we've been dreaming of?

Or to recover after a financial setback like spending all your money chasing a girl who doesn't love you across the world? Or continuing to travel while filing bankruptcy?

Some would say it's sheer courage, a good coach, or a team that has your back that will make it or break it.

We say it's a whole process. We looked over what we've done to make lasting change in our lives and realized that you've got to have a half dozen practices in place to really shift and stay shifted. All of them take less than 30 minutes per day, and we're going to rock it.

We're creating a plan, a method, and throwing a lot of madness behind it. It's time for change, and we plan to ride the Gasm through all the fear, and take us to the other side.

We want you to join us. To experience what a life on the edge, lived to the fullest looks like.
We are committing to showing up every day in GASM live on Facebook for at least 5 minutes. To be of service to the evolution of our tribe, by being vulnerable and sharing our excitements, triumphs, fears and insecurity's with vulnerability and authenticity. To invite, invite, invite people to join the JoyGasm Online course (it's free and you can sign up at

Most importantly, we are committing to transmute on a personal level, all the fear, that stands in our way of becoming the people we've been dreaming of for years.

Upcoming JoyGasm eCourse

We are creating the online course for JoyGasm. Anyone who comments, questions, or suggests on this post will get free access to the eCourse. We want your feedback!

JoyGasm – The Joy Factory
Laying the JoyGasmic Foundation. By the end of the course you will have practiced creating joy from within, laughed your ass off, and know how to have a JoyGasm whenever you want.

What is JoyGasm?
SEED is a little teaser of problems we will solve with the next courses
JG Basics Concepts – The problems most people have with Joy.
Looking outside you for Joy – Externalized vs Internalized sources of joy
Science – Coherent Field – HeartMath
Science – Duchenne Smile – BioHacking
Visualization on the body – Lemon Example
Power Posing – Stress and Hormones of your Brain

Finding a JoyFul Memory –
Walk through the JoyGasm process
Amplifying through sound – Laughter/yawning – SEED Sexy Sounds are contagious
Amplification through movement – the beginnings of the stroke.
Anchor it with words – Deserving it – Choose your own language to support yourself.
Sorrow/Painful Joy memories – finding a clear joyful memory, or choosing to focus on only the joyful parts. SEED – how to split them and transform sorrow and joy.

BONUS – One Memory or Many? SEED – Different experiences depending on which memory you choose. Ie – what if you choose a sexy memory.
BONUS – What if I start feeling sexy? SEED- Common issues – Sexuality and Anger intertwined talk about it.
BONUS – Ways to amplify it – Mirror Neurons – SEED – Couples Exercise – Demo’d
BONUS IDEAS from the community ?? That’s you!

Learn more about JoyGasm
The First JoyGasm – Don’t forget Jim Carey
The BIG vision – Why we created JoyGasm
What’s next? Invite to JoyGasm – The Gasm