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Self Love Practices of Top Experts

JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world.  

our Experts of The Week Answer:

If you only had 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would you DO?

Supriya Jain

I had only 10 minutes, I'd breathe.

I think meditation is what I would focus on. Breathing helps. It's what keeps you going and I think we often forget to do it right. So yes, if I had only 10 minutes, I'd breathe.

I've been practicing yoga on and off for some years now. And more than the asanas the meditation has always helped me more. So when I am anxious or stressed or just want to relax I practice deep breathing and alternate nostril breathing. It has instant effect.

For deep breathing I take a long inhalation, hold my breath for a few seconds, then exhale longer than the inhalation. Even with the first set I can feel immediate calming down. I do 7 such sets.

For Alternate breathing I exhale from the left nostril and then take a deep inhalation from the left while keeping the right nostril closed. Then I close the left nostril, and give a deep exhalation from the right nostril. Then I repeat with exhalation and inhalation from the right and so complete one set. I do 7 such sets.

I prefer doing it in a quiet place, but anywhere is fine really. It gives a balance before meeting new people, making decisions etc.

Nicole Hartley BradfordActive Creatress of Awakening House

I am working on invincibility.

I am working on invincibility. So I would use the ten minutes to feel into where I am believing I *need* self care...tap into those parts of my self, and let them know that, beyond any doubt, they have me, and I have them. As long as we are together, we are *there*. And let that sink in deeply.

Claire Ansteey Claire Anstey is the chat show host who had a tragedy 'wake her up'.

The best way to start or end your day

So everyone else is probably going to bang on about the importance of a morning routine and how we should do breathing, gratitude exercises, exercise and eat good food in our 10 minutes. I agree that these are all great but but if I really only had 10 minutes I feel that a meditative masturbation exercise is the best way to start or end your day.

Female masturbation is very important and has huge health benefits - as a woman we must learn to love our bodies and feel free in giving ourselves loving pleasure. A morning / evening masturbation meditation can also include deep breathing & visualisation. Who wouldn’t want to start there day feeling energized and excited.

Dawn DelVecchio Business mentor, Hypnotherapist, NLP Coach, Astrologer, Tarot pro & Best-Selling Author.

In right relation with my Soul

Heart Breathing, Bringing my heart and mind in right relation with my Soul, drink pure water, brush my teeth, moisturize my skin (I live in the desert) and stretch or do a few yoga asanas for my spine.

Tamara Ward Guide and Empowerment Coach

Ask yourself, what is the thing I love to do?

I've thought about your request to elaborate on what "meditation on divine connection & centeredness" means to me, and I can't describe to the masses the exact technique they should use to access that Divine Connection and centeredness. That IS the journey. How they get there is uniquely personal, and not as important as it is that they get there. Often times people already know what that thing is they do that gets them into a place where they're feeling so open and in flow with Divine energy. The feeling of centerdness is a wonderful byproduct of accessing that openness. I've tried to describe it in some of my classes, and truly, its a feeling.. but you'll know it when you get there.

Opening and connecting to divine energy flow can be inspired by connecting to music, being in harmony with your favorite song. (Live version of "Hotel California" always catapolts me into the stratosphere), breath & movement like a walk in the park, Qui Gong, or yoga is another effective way for many people to open to divine flow, and then of course, there's always invoking the Reiki symbols as another method. I also know people who access that energy through cooking, baking, and some who connect through orgasm! Ask yourself, what is the thing I love to do where my mind quiets, my heart opens and I feel at peace with everything... even just for a little while. Do that and maintain that feeling of openness the rest of the day. You'll thank me for it later. 😉

Suzie de Jonge

Something that makes me happy...

I make sure that I do something every day that is just for me, whether that be meditation when I wake up, spending cuddle time with my dogs, having a conversation with my daughter - just something that makes me happy.

Summer Day Teacher and JoyGasm Facilitator

anything to raise my vibration

If I had 10 minutes a day I would meditate and or do anything to raise my vibration (walk in nature, hot tub, hammock, music, journal, bath) so that I would be in alignment with nothing but awesome!!!

Lyn Bishop Way-shower

Love Yourself Now - Wave Meditation

I do my first 10 minutes of my LYN Infinity Wave of Love Meditation.

Elena Harder JoyGasm Catalyst, and Visionary Lover

Laughing and eye gazing with myself

Laughing and eye gazing with myself (while brushing my teeth with organic happy toothpaste 2 minutes), a JoyGasm while visualizing my highest vision for the future (2 minutes), and writing the 5 best moments of the day right before bed (5 minutes)… and of course I love you's! (1 min)

Things that can't be missed, but take more time than 2 minutes.
Cuddle and snuggle my son before bed. JoyGasm and intimacy with my partner (which is so juicy, and 2 minutes is NOT enough time to really honour connection, which gets SO much deeper! And deeper and deeper!)

Naomi Colb Chief Cheer Leader at Movers and Shakers Coaching

Self-massage, stretching and appreciating my body

1 minute of conscious yogic breathing counting 2 counts in and 6 out.

7 minutes hot shower with self-massage, stretching and appreciating my body and 5 senses, dry and apply organic coconut oil

2 minutes drinking my organic cinnamon sticks and sliced ginger root tea to down my 50 mg. DHEA, HGH, B Complex and eat my 1/2 cup of ground flax cereal for Omega', while listening to the daily lesson of "A Course in Miracles" online.

Rhinda Piche

It's called the Breathe of Life for a reason!

If you have 10 minutes a day for self care ~ give yourself the gift of conscious, connected breathing. All my findings helped me decided to become a Breathwork Facilitator, because I see how we DO NOT breath, we are supposed to be taking advantage of this gift, using it to our fullest potential. The Breathe of Life is called the Breathe of Life for a reason.

Valerie Greene Relationship Coach

Feel the feelings that go along with that magical experience...

It's important that I move my body with some kind of yoga, pilates, or dance. Being in my head might get things done, but love is an emotional experience that can only be felt in my body, so if I'm not exercising, I don't feel any positive emotion as strongly as when I am.

After that, it's important that I do even one minute of visualization around who I really want to be. For example, I say "I am a clear channel for love, wisdom, and empowerment." [those are my top values] And I visualize how my day will go when I'm embodying those values. How will I hold myself? Who will I meet with and what will I say and do with them? How will that feel? What would be the best, most magical and inspiring thing that can happen today? And I really see the colors, hear the sounds, and feel the feelings that go along with that magical experience. That shifts my energy and gets me connected to feeling the excitement of love and possibility.

Natalia Levey Author of “Cravings Boss” Founder of Healthy Intent

Eliminate the junk, give your body what it needs.

I’d start with nourishing your body with the right food. Once you eliminate the junk, give your body the ability to do what it needs to do, and support it with healthy food choices, you’d be amazed at how much clearer you’ll think and more energy you’ll have. This is the most tangible change with the most powerful results.

Second, I’d work on reframing your mind with intentional positive shifts. Don’t get stuck in the loops of negativity. It’s and exercise that we all can do easily, and what I teach in one of my programs.

Here’s an example:
If I fit into that dress, I’ll be asked out on more dates
I get asked out on dates because of my fabulous personality

I can’t believe that ***person just cut me off!
I’m sending love to that person because they may be in an emergency situation

I’m just not lucky
I embrace the lessons and look for ways to improve

Meeting Your Future Self

5 years ago I wrote myself a letter from the future.

I was very pregnant and had just moved back in with my parents, having gotten it through my head that my relationship with my sons bio-dad was not going to be supportive of me as a new mom. I was depressed, desperate, in my first months of business, and not even that excited about baby being born, just glad that the ache in my back would be gone soon, and I would have some space in my belly. In those pregnant days life was a dark and fearful place.

I sat down, entered, and connected to my future self. She was sitting in Morocco, at a cafe, and laughing with her partner. She was sipping tea, and talking about the possibilities. Wizing through parallel realities of what “might happen when we get up from the table” would we meet someone to take us on an adventure, would we walk down the beach, would we stumble over a camel, or make out in the park… what would be the most fun. My partner and I turn to each other, and laugh. We know exactly which one seems most fun.

We set our collective intent upon it, and release it.

When it’s time to pay the bill, we get up, and start off into the buzzing market. Within a few moments, we encounter a woman, and it’s clear to both of us, she is the gateway to our adventure. We introduce ourselves, follow her, and she leads us to a community like the one we’ve been searching for. We laugh at the perfection of creation, and enjoy the heck out the afternoon with her. We have met another family member, and we are powerful in our creation.

This sense of mastery, of freedom, of choice and receiving, is something I’ve caught in glimpses and in moments over the years.

Like desiring to go to Afest, and getting an invite that seemed impossible. Meeting a lover who strikes every chord in my body. Letting go of moments of anger deeply felt in the past. People lining up in majestic perfection. Life showing me in perfect harmony what is needed for the transformation of being set free. Magic indescribable I’ve seen happen. And this frustration that the intensity seems to happen only in short bursts. And at the time I wrote this letter, it was a hopeful melody, echoing back from the past. This playful nature of my future self, seemed unreachable, unattainable to my depressed, repressed and abused self.

It was at the time, only a dream from the future.. to give me hope and pull me forwards.

Well, I’m excited to say that next week, I go to meet my future self. My partner Maxim and I fly to Morocco. Alex, that babe in my belly is now almost 6, and passionate in his own right about what “most fun” is. I never knew a reason WHY I wanted to go to Morocco, only that I would go. And now the moment is upon me. I have gathered who I thought I would be..

realizing that my life now, is unrecognizable from the woman of 5 years ago.

Sure, I still have moments of struggle, of getting caught in mind games and worry and fear. But my attitude, my general experience, and my perception of myself are so different than the scared and fearful girl I was those years ago. They say you don’t know what you’re made of until you try. I didn’t know how strong I was until the last 5 years dragged me to a pit and beat me.  I thought that was bad, but.. nothing compared to what came after that.

I really learned how strong I am when I dragged my own butt out of that pit kicking and screaming with parts of me trying to get back into the pit.

And I’m realizing how strong am I now.. Being strong in loving it it. In loving myself through it. And in being strong enough to let myself have what I want. Live how I want. Travel with the dream family I’ve always wanted (and that’s more than just 3 of us! if you want to come travel along, we’re making rooms for you!)

If you’ve dreamed it. You can do it.

Keep the faith, enjoy the ride, and celebrate the heck out of moments like this. Where you really do see dreams (and future letters) come true.

Love Elena

Keep Rocking

Dear Beloved,

You rock. Rock and roll, rock and stroll, rock and on a freaking roll. 

Keep going. Keep rolling, keep growing.  

That is all you ever need to do.

Love JoyGasm

Gentle Kick in the Arse

Dear Beloved, 

We’re here to tell you it’s time to Fuck the old ways and fuck the old stories that you say “I can’t escape from” 
You know better than that. Your whole body is renewed every 4 days,

You’ve seen your world dramatically change of the better overnight,

And you’ve seen yourself as the cause of miracles.

We know you like to play the “I’m small and powerless game” sometimes, but seriously, enough is enough.

What do you want from your life? 
OH… we see… you feel like you’ve said it a thousand times?

Well how about a thousand times a day, and put your emotions, heart and soul into it while you do it. (It’s only 10 Malah’s worth of prayers while prancing around the pool after all!) And let’s not forget taking some badass action to show up loud, proud and powerful while you’re at it.
Have you been doing that? No. Hmmm.. well that might explain your shit attitude, and lack of results. Not that we’re trying to be mean, but we’ve been watching and you OBVIOUSLY need a kick in the butt.
Consider your butt kicked.
Love JoyGasm

It took me some courage to ask for help with my sexual energy

It took me some courage to ask for help with my sexual energy, but my guidance said Elena was the right person to ask. I am glad I did as she was able to in one session awaken the energies of my second chakra and had me feeling more alive then I have felt in awhile. I had really lost touch with this side of myself and now realize it was causing me not to show up fully. She also reminded me how to flirt which has had some exciting results already. 😉 I look forward to my next session and in the meantime will be enjoying my homework!! <3 -       Daemond

Choose it ALL 

Dear Beloved, Freedom to choose means,You can choose love, and peace and hope

AFTER you’ve expressed the F*CK out of your Rage, Sorrow and Pain.

Because they all need voice. 

And liberation is in finding your heart 

Is one who loves ALL of it. 

No matter what. 
Love you!