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Suzie de Jonge on Self Love

JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world. 

If you only had 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would you DO?

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Suzie de Jonge

Something that makes me happy...

I make sure that I do something every day that is just for me, whether that be meditation when I wake up, spending cuddle time with my dogs, having a conversation with my daughter - just something that makes me happy.

What is your take on self-love? Why is it important, and what's the most powerful way you've found to do it?

Self-love is not selfish, it is actually unselfish. As a woman if you don’t take care of yourself, which includes doing things for yourself which bring you joy, it can end up making you feel resentful, stuck, unable to get excited about the future and also cause burnout and anxiety by all the everyday responsibilities that come with relationships, family and career.


How did you start your journey of self love? What started you on your path?

I started on my journey of self-love after experiencing a nervous breakdown while working in my own business 7 days a week, trying to juggle being wife, mother, daughter, friend and constant rescuer and also the loss of a parent. Something just broke inside me. It was after being told by my doctor that antidepressant medications would only get me part way back to my old self and the rest was up to me that I stopped and really looked at how I had been showing up in the world, and started to take care of myself instead of ignoring my needs.

What is your biggest challenge or temptation when it comes to caring for yourself?

Still trying to address the voice in my head that says taking care of myself is selfish. I think that comes from the role of women in my particular generation. We are meant to take care of everyone first and then ourselves while trying to appear as if we have it all together.

What has been the biggest unexpected obstacle you've had in following your passion or creating your great work in the world?

Not an unexpected obstacle so much but I guess being able to stand out amongst so many other coaches, although I think my message is different from the traditional life/business coach and at the same time so vital for many women I come into contact with. Actually it can be life saving for those suffering with severe anxiety/stress/depression.

How has your relationship to challenges changed since you started your journey?

I don’t instantly go into worst case scenarios like I used to. I feel more in control of situations as they arise and take the time to think through things.

Where can people find out more about you?

Full Name: Suzie de Jonge
Business Name: Beautifully Selfish
Website: www.beautifullyselfish.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/beautifullyselfish/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beautifully_selfish/

Valerie Greene on Self Love

JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world. 

If you only had 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would you DO?

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Valerie Greene Relationship Coach

Feel the feelings that go along with that magical experience...

It's important that I move my body with some kind of yoga, pilates, or dance. Being in my head might get things done, but love is an emotional experience that can only be felt in my body, so if I'm not exercising, I don't feel any positive emotion as strongly as when I am.

After that, it's important that I do even one minute of visualization around who I really want to be. For example, I say "I am a clear channel for love, wisdom, and empowerment." [those are my top values] And I visualize how my day will go when I'm embodying those values. How will I hold myself? Who will I meet with and what will I say and do with them? How will that feel? What would be the best, most magical and inspiring thing that can happen today? And I really see the colors, hear the sounds, and feel the feelings that go along with that magical experience. That shifts my energy and gets me connected to feeling the excitement of love and possibility.

What is your take on self love? Why is it important?

My experience of love is the realization that all life is connected, deserving of compassion, acceptance, empathy, and care. When I experience this I feel a surge of pleasurable energy, warmth, and joy in my heart. This feels like the truth of who I am, and it's what makes life worth living. When I am busy, I get disconnected from this feeling and I lose sight of who I really am and why I'm doing what I'm doing. That's why it is so important that I connect to this feeling and this experience every day, because otherwise I feel depleted instead of energized.

How did you start your journey of self love? What started you on your path?

I was lucky to have parents who modeled love for me, which is how we learn to love ourselves. My mom taught me that there are no "bad" people, just "bad" things that people do when they are in pain. Even though I learned this at a young age, I of course experienced a lot of pain when relationships failed in my 20's or when I got my heart broken; especially when I got divorced in my early 30's. This is when I sought out the most effective teachers of self love, and spent years practicing yoga, meditation, self-compassion, NLP, coaching, hypnosis, and other emotional healing modalities.

I found what worked best for me and created my own self-love practices that allowed my coaching clients to have breakthroughs in their own ability to experience self-love and profound romantic love with others, so I'm grateful for the pain I've experienced in my life because it lead me to learn how to heal it and help others heal, to experience more love, intimacy, and passion in their lives.

What is your biggest challenge or temptation when it comes to caring for yourself?

As an entrepreneur I sometimes experience that I don't have enough time to meditate or do as much self care as I like to do to feel balanced and energized. Also when my partner and I have an argument and I feel hurt or angry, part of me doesn't want to feel love. But I've learned how to tap into the source of love and give love to the part of me that's hurt or angry, and give myself compassion and soothing, and then transform that emotion into deeper needs or desires that didn't get met. Maybe I wanted my partner to be more collaborative, or give me more support, or see my side.

So I've learned how to transform the emotion and communicate those desires to him in an inspiring way so that whatever I was upset about winds up bringing us to a deeper place of emotional intimacy. That's what I teach to my clients: how to transform conflict into deeper intimacy.

What has been the biggest unexpected obstacle you've had in following your passion or creating your great work in the world?

I've had challenges in reaching the amount of people I want to reach with my work. I'd like more support in that

How has your relationship to challenges changed since you started your journey? 

I've learned that challenges are an opportunity to grow. In the beginning of my coaching practice, when clients were resistant to change and would be blaming themselves or the people in their life, I would get discouraged. But that forced me to develop patience, self-compassion, empathy for them, and faith in my own skills and the clients' path. Since then, I've developed all those things and now most of my clients have such profound, inspiring, deeply touching experiences. But if I wasn't challenged in the beginning, I wouldn't have had the chance to develop my own skills and virtues, and I wouldn't be able to appreciate the profound experiences I and my clients have now. So I welcome challenges now, as another way I can grow.

How can people learn more about you? 

Full Name: Valerie Greene
Website: http://www.coachvaleriegreene.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachvaleriegreene
Twitter: @CoachValGreene
Instagram: val_greene
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV5fnakewbzMZ2yGU-eChqQ

Man-ifest Your Lasting Love 

Learn how to activate the ONE simple secret that will draw a man closer and inspire his love, adoration, and devotion, no matter where your relationship is now!

Rhinda Piche on Self Love

JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world. 

If you only had 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would you DO?

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Rhinda Piche

It's called the Breathe of Life for a reason!

If you have 10 minutes a day for self care ~ give yourself the gift of conscious, connected breathing. All my findings helped me decided to become a Breathwork Facilitator, because I see how we DO NOT breath, we are supposed to be taking advantage of this gift, using it to our fullest potential. The Breathe of Life is called the Breathe of Life for a reason.

What is your take on self-love?

Self - Love obviously means something different to everyone, and through my journey of working with people, I searched for the common denominator, and my journey unfolded from there. Once I knew that I could depend on “myself” for anything and everything, was the day I knew that i truly loved myself unconditionally, as the mistakes, the goof ups, the tragedies became less and less of a focus, that love grew stronger and stronger, Im not sure that it ends.. When I say self, what do I mean? That connection to self can be seen in many ways, some see it as a connection to God, to the inner universe, to eternal energy, the source. What you call it doesn’t matter, what matters is that your feeling it.

Why is it important, and what's the most powerful way you've found to do it?

Quieting the mind is one discipline we must all practice, whether we believe in it or not. Our world has become overloaded with criticism, judgement and gossip, filling the mind with useless information, doubting our own capabilities as we compare ourselves.

As a therapist, I have seen miracles happen when they begin to take themselves seriously again and make self-love a mission. Owning your life and then beginning to reshape can be as easy as breathing, and focusing on what you love. These 2 things could change anyone's life if they chose to.

What is your biggest struggle in your relationships right now? How has that changed since you started learning about self-love?

Tricky question because I tend to be happier than ever, being single, not sure if Im avoiding or if it serves a grander purpose, I tend to love all people equally, and have a hard time putting one person in front of the rest. I would imagine this is because I haven’t yet found “theOne” . Being a single mom comes with its own challenges, however my biggest struggle is my automatic response to HELP. My helping role needs to stay out of intimate relationships. I think. Haha


What's the most important skill you've learned to help you deal with the challenges of being in relationships?

I am single gal, with 4 boys, and very grateful for that, the more okay I become, I realize that most of my past relationships were geared towards me helping my partner, become “better”. I see now, when I put that focus on me instead, everything else falls into place. And all I had to do was learn to breathe properly and only focus on the things that I love. How easy is that?. It becoming effortless over time.

What has been the biggest unexpected challenge you've had in creating your great work in the world?

My work can be challenging because people are still wakingup to the idea that there is more for them, and I have learnt that I can’t convince anyone of anything, so I just keep breathing.

Independence is just that, “Inner Dependence” depending on the inner world. notice how the word “Dance” is in there too. Get to know that inner dance that lies inside you, treat him/her like you would treat your newborn baby,or your best friend, with absolute tenderness and love, only then will your outer world reflect tenderness and love, it will make you want to dance.

“You don’t have to like me, thats my job” ~ Byron Katie

Natalia Levey on Self Love

JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world. 

If you only had 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would you DO?

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Natalia Levey Author of “Cravings Boss” Founder of Healthy Intent

Eliminate the junk, give your body what it needs.

I’d start with nourishing your body with the right food. Once you eliminate the junk, give your body the ability to do what it needs to do, and support it with healthy food choices, you’d be amazed at how much clearer you’ll think and more energy you’ll have. This is the most tangible change with the most powerful results.


Second, I’d work on reframing your mind with intentional positive shifts. Don’t get stuck in the loops of negativity. It’s and exercise that we all can do easily, and what I teach in one of my programs.

Here’s an example:
If I fit into that dress, I’ll be asked out on more dates
I get asked out on dates because of my fabulous personality

I can’t believe that ***person just cut me off!
I’m sending love to that person because they may be in an emergency situation

I’m just not lucky
I embrace the lessons and look for ways to improve

Elena HarderJoyGasm Founder and Self Love Expert

Natalia nails it with food.  When we take good care of our bodies, everything else seems manageable. When we don't, even the smallest thing is impossible.  

What is your take on self-love? Why is it important, and what's the most powerful way you've found to do it?

Self-love comes from taking out the ego and the need for external validation from our thinking process. There’s a Twilight episode “Eye of the Beholder,” where a woman goes through multiple extensive surgeries to fit in, only to find herself in the most extraordinary situation. It changed the perception of her appearance.

What if we were to think of self-love as if it were already there, inherent in every one of us, because we are all a part of something bigger? Not stay so focused on our physical perception but spiritual growth. We all feel the love of nature, the Universe that surrounds us, and the higher being. We are all connected, and are meant to be the beautiful amazing beings that we are. Instead of searching for harmony, accept that it’s already within every single one of us, already in existence.

Once we accept that we are pure love as a being, we can start treating our bodies the way that they deserve to – with respect and kindness, nourish them not because of the latest trend to look a certain way, but because it’s what our bodies ultimately need.

What is your biggest struggle in your relationships right now? How has that changed since you started learning about self-love?

Being a mom of a 12 year old girl has made me realized that we are not taught self-love. Simply the process of going through life, putting out daily fires and satisfying external and internal expectations can create a vortex of excuses and fears, comfort zones and lack of self-appreciation.

Having discussions with my daughter about not focusing on peer pressure, creating a space for her to explore different emotions and experiences, has sparked the desire in me to deeper understand the underlying causes of self doubt, and find ways to share love with the world.


What's the most important skill you've learned to help you deal with the challenges of being in relationships?

The most important skill I’ve learned is to not take things personally and not give up on the fact that I’m here to serve, taking out the ego and need for praise and acceptance.

My personal accomplishments become insignificant among the positive ripple effect that my work is creating in the world around.

What has been the biggest unexpected challenge you've had in creating your great work in the world?

Hahahaha having to learn a lot of different technologies and skills. Marketing, sales, graphic design, web design. I just wanted to do my work, but realized that in order to get the message out in the most powerful way, I have to embrace technology. I’m also a big time introvert. So putting myself out there is always hard.

Dawn DelVecchio on Self Love

JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world. 

If you only had 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would you DO?

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Dawn DelVecchio Business mentor, Hypnotherapist, NLP Coach, Astrologer, Tarot pro & Best-Selling Author.

In right relation with my Soul

Heart Breathing, Bringing my heart and mind in right relation with my Soul, drink pure water, brush my teeth, moisturize my skin (I live in the desert) and stretch or do a few yoga asanas for my spine.

What is your take on self-love? Why is it important, and what's the most powerful way you've found to do it?

Loving Self is essential. Without self-love we don't have what it takes to love others. Self-love is the very opposite of what we would see as inconsiderate self-importance or selfishness. Self Love is self honoring and self respect. It is recognizing our intrinsic worthiness of love and care. For me, Self-Love has been a process of reclaiming as I deeply heal and clear early childhood and past life patterns set in place which stood between me and my awareness of my eternal, divine self.

What is your biggest struggle in your relationships right now? How has that changed since you started learning about self-love?

Biggest struggle has been with receiving my man's love for me. When I am not in the place of self-love, I cannot receive. I tend, then, to live in the future (worrying) and cannot relax into receptivity. The more I reclaim my right to life and love, the more able I am to be in the present, to receive love and to be available for sex more often too.

What's the most important skill you've learned to help you deal with the challenges of being in relationships?

Non-Violent Communication

What has been the biggest unexpected challenge you've had in creating your great work in the world?

A subconscious fear from a previous life which kept me "hiding out" as a writer instead of claiming my Soul's Sacred Calling as a Leader once again.

Elena's Thoughts: 

Learning to love yourself lets other people love you more!  I totally identify with what Dawn said about her biggest struggle.  “receiving my man’s love for me. When I am not in the place of self-love, I cannot receive. I tend, then, to live in the future (worrying) and cannot relax into receptivity.”  I’ve found this to be true, and sometimes it as simple as changing my focus to “how can I be more open” or opening my eyes when I’m feeling triggered and angry to see that the face looking at me is actually quite loving and I just can’t feel it right now.

Supriya Jain on Self Love

JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world. 

If you only had 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would you DO?

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Supriya Jain

I had only 10 minutes, I'd breathe.

I think meditation is what I would focus on. Breathing helps. It's what keeps you going and I think we often forget to do it right. So yes, if I had only 10 minutes, I'd breathe.

I've been practicing yoga on and off for some years now. And more than the asanas the meditation has always helped me more. So when I am anxious or stressed or just want to relax I practice deep breathing and alternate nostril breathing. It has instant effect.

For deep breathing I take a long inhalation, hold my breath for a few seconds, then exhale longer than the inhalation. Even with the first set I can feel immediate calming down. I do 7 such sets.

For Alternate breathing I exhale from the left nostril and then take a deep inhalation from the left while keeping the right nostril closed. Then I close the left nostril, and give a deep exhalation from the right nostril. Then I repeat with exhalation and inhalation from the right and so complete one set. I do 7 such sets.

I prefer doing it in a quiet place, but anywhere is fine really. It gives a balance before meeting new people, making decisions etc.

What is your take on self-love? Why is it important, and what's the most powerful way you've found to do it?

I think self love is a tricky thing. One must have enough to appreciate oneself for the good and right things while being cautious not to get in the realm of narcissism. I'd like to think I've found a balance.I'm an introvert and on various occasions suffer from self doubt - will I be able to do it, what will people think, will I make a fool of myself, am I too fat, is this dress ok and so on. At these times knowing and appreciating myself has always been my saviour. Being strongly individualistic, I am quite vocal about the unique traits we all have and not afraid to be different. This is what I am, and I'm fabulous with all my flaws.I do look at external support to strengthen my belief in myself and I am happy to say I have a loving ecosystem that responds in kind. I am not afraid to reach out for appreciation and ask people to point out things that are good about me. Some might call it fishing for compliments but for me it's food for my soul 🙂

What is your biggest struggle in your relationships right now? How has that changed since you started learning about self-love?

My biggest struggle right now is to adjust to the fact that I am single. I lost my husband in an accident last year - we'd been together for 15 years (since I was 18 years old). I didn't know life without him, since we stepped in to adulthood together. And I'm still learning to live this new reality every day (www.apieceofhim.com is where I blog about this).

But before this happened, we did have a strange bond. We were very different personalities, yet a part of each other from all those shared years. The challenge was to balance our differences to create a life together. I think the one thing I learnt was that if you are patient enough you'll find a common thread - something that connects opposing viewpoints, something that matters to each partner. And once you are able to identify that thread, happiness can be woven around that.

In my new reality as a widow, I'm seeing a different aspect of relationships. There are certain things that people expect from me, and I don't think I'm really doing those. In this past year and a half I think my biggest focus has been me. And that's changed me significantly. Earlier where I tolerated toxic people, I remove them from my life now. Earlier where I cared about family opinions, I choose what's best for me now and leave them to adjust to it.

What has been the biggest unexpected challenge you've had in creating your great work in the world?

My great work in the world isn't here yet :). It's going to be a baby that I'm trying to make from a sample of my husbands sperm that we had (details on my blog).



I'm taking the IVF route to make this happen and it's been a very challenging journey. One to be alone while doing this, two the constant hormone high you are on, three the mixed social response, and four the uncertainty of the whole thing. I've already had one failed attempt and will be trying again in Dec/Jan. It's an emotional roller coaster and for a person who's preferred to be practical her whole life, I'm still trying to understand the new me.


Elena Harder on Self Love

JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world. 

If you only had 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would you DO?

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Elena Harder JoyGasm Catalyst, and Visionary Lover

Laughing and eye gazing with myself

Laughing and eye gazing with myself (while brushing my teeth with organic happy toothpaste 2 minutes), a JoyGasm while visualizing my highest vision for the future (2 minutes), and writing the 5 best moments of the day right before bed (5 minutes)… and of course I love you's! (1 min)

Things that can't be missed, but take more time than 2 minutes.
Cuddle and snuggle my son before bed. JoyGasm and intimacy with my partner (which is so juicy, and 2 minutes is NOT enough time to really honour connection, which gets SO much deeper! And deeper and deeper!)

What is your take on self-love? Why is it important, and what's the most powerful way you've found to do it?

Self love is the act of accepting and appreciating yourself. ESPECIALLY your less nice aspects. Self love is a moment to moment practice of remembering your highest self, the one that is love, and allowing that to wash over your human experience, and bring acceptance to exactly what you are experiencing right now. It means choosing moment to moment to remember that it's all illusion, and that you are witnessing yourself, doing whatever that is. Self love is also a commitment to continuing to do things that support you to feel nurtured and cared for. Self love sometimes includes asking other people for help to love yourself, and it often involves doing things that are uncomfortable at first.

Self love is important because otherwise self hatred has room to grow. Self love is crucial because it is the food and the support that you need to continue to grow and change as a person. Without it, you won't be able to make the big leap, or believe in yourself enough to do what you want to do, and make the impact you came here for.

The most powerful way I've found to do it, is to lean into the moments of challenge, and face my fears by saying "I love the one who… whatever the negative experience is." And of course "I Love You's"

What is your biggest struggle in your relationships right now? How has that changed since you started learning about self-love?

Biggest struggle is that I'm feeling like I don't have that many relationships that matter to me, and that makes me feel sad and lonely. It's changed a lot in the last few years as I've learned more about self love, because I've felt like this since before I can remember, and now I consciously choose to reach out and connect with people who I know (intellectually at least) love and support me no matter what I do. I didn’t used to do that, so I felt like I didn’t have people who loved me, and I also didn’t talk to the people who did, so I felt extra alone. (Plus beating myself up for being bad at friendship). I now beat myself up a LOT less than I used to.

What's the most important skill you've learned to help you deal with the challenges of being in relationships?

Owning my projections. Any time I point a finger at someone else and say "you're doing this to me" I’ve trained myself to breathe first. And then ask the questions, how is this related to me, why does this trigger me? How can I express and lean into this, how can I let it go of attachment to this feeling, integrate it and come to understanding. All of these are flowed together into the JoyGasm Transmutation process, which helps me immensely in these moments.

What has been the biggest unexpected challenge you've had in creating your great work in the world?

TIME. Seriously. And myself. When JoyGasm came to me, I saw myself rolling it out and being an international superstar inspiring others within a matter of 6-12 months from when I started. Boy was I wrong. It's been over 4 years, and I'm still working on being seen and heard, and most importantly BEING OKAY WITH SUCCESS. My own programing and self talk continually gets in the way. But I know that having a big vision helps with this a ton.

Nicole Hartley Bradford on Self Love

JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world. 

If you only had 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would you DO?

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Nicole Hartley BradfordActive Creatress of Awakening House

I am working on invincibility.

I am working on invincibility. So I would use the ten minutes to feel into where I am believing I *need* self care...tap into those parts of my self, and let them know that, beyond any doubt, they have me, and I have them. As long as we are together, we are *there*. And let that sink in deeply.

Elena HarderJoyGasm Founder and Self Love Expert

Nicole's awareness of multiple selves is something that has helped me immensely in my journey to wholeness.  To acknowledge that not ALL of us is in alignment with creating a new and fantastic life makes things so much easier to address and heal. 

What is your take on self-love? Why is it important, and what's the most powerful way you've found to do it?

My take on Self Love: I need to love all my "selves"...keep connected with them, accept and support them, listen to them. I've noticed that everything going on in me gives me how I feel, and tends to show up bigger in life around me.



If I take care of everything going on in me...it takes care of...everything. If I am dissing or pissing on a part of me, I feel like shit and behave from that, and get more of it from life. The most powerful way I have to do this is making regular check ins with myself, becoming familiar with the flags that something is going on under the surface...and taking a moment or more to pay it due attention.



When I was learning this more powerfully, I recorded my self saying some of the things my less empowered selves needed to hear ...on my phone, and played them back when I needed them. It was super effective.

What is your biggest struggle in your relationships right now? How has that changed since you started learning about self-love?

My biggest struggle these days is when my yesses turn into no's....and communicating that with grace, clearing the guilt and obligation tension. I've come a long way 🙂 This one almost had me committing suicide 6 years ago. 

?

Sometimes I think it is all about the yesses and no's...and my selves inside...reaching a kind of inner consensus!



All of this is key in my development as an entrepreneur, as a mom, a human, a partner.

Naomi Colb on Self Love

JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world. 

If you only had 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would you DO?

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Naomi Colb Chief Cheer Leader at Movers and Shakers Coaching

Self-massage, stretching and appreciating my body

1 minute of conscious yogic breathing counting 2 counts in and 6 out.

7 minutes hot shower with self-massage, stretching and appreciating my body and 5 senses, dry and apply organic coconut oil

2 minutes drinking my organic cinnamon sticks and sliced ginger root tea to down my 50 mg. DHEA, HGH, B Complex and eat my 1/2 cup of ground flax cereal for Omega', while listening to the daily lesson of "A Course in Miracles" online.

Elena HarderJoyGasm Founder and Self Love Expert

I love Naomi's break down of 1 minute for this, 7 minutes for that, as well as her appreciation of a great hot shower.  She packs a punch with several super powered food supplements and activities all in 10 minutes!  She also knows how to make sure her environment is 111% positive by creating healthy boundaries.  This woman obviously knows how to kick butt and self love in style! 

What is your take on self-love? Why is it important, and what's the most powerful way you've found to do it?

Self-love is essential to a healthy, happy and peaceful life. I powerfully love myself daily by expressing appreciation to myself for the gift of today and demonstrating that appreciation by choosing nourishment of my 5 senses, my food, the positive people I attract, movement, uplifting media and events. I live a curated, intentional life….rather than a default life and I make my living supporting others to do the same.

What is your biggest struggle in your relationships right now? How has that changed since you started learning about self-love?
I no longer experience struggle with relationships. Only positive, radically accountable and co-creative people come into my life. If people self-select distance, I wish them well and continue thriving. Most come back later with apologies.

What's the most important skill you've learned to help you deal with the challenges of being in relationships?

The most important skill is to be present and paying attention to my own body, breathing, posture and the other person's at the same time, silencing the mind chatter in eyes open meditation, co-creating in intimate flow throughout the day.

What has been the biggest unexpected challenge you've had in creating your great work in the world?

In the past, I was challenged by an inability to establish rapport, clearly communicate and co-create. I could not attract and retain co-creators. In recent years, I have done enough plant medicines to rewire my Aspergers nervous system so that I now attract conscious co-creators for projects.

Tamara Ward on Self Love

JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world. 

If you only had 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would you DO?

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Tamara Ward Guide and Empowerment Coach

Ask yourself, what is the thing I love to do?

I've thought about your request to elaborate on what "meditation on divine connection & centeredness" means to me, and I can't describe to the masses the exact technique they should use to access that Divine Connection and centeredness. That IS the journey. How they get there is uniquely personal, and not as important as it is that they get there. Often times people already know what that thing is they do that gets them into a place where they're feeling so open and in flow with Divine energy. The feeling of centerdness is a wonderful byproduct of accessing that openness. I've tried to describe it in some of my classes, and truly, its a feeling.. but you'll know it when you get there.

Opening and connecting to divine energy flow can be inspired by connecting to music, being in harmony with your favorite song. (Live version of "Hotel California" always catapolts me into the stratosphere), breath & movement like a walk in the park, Qui Gong, or yoga is another effective way for many people to open to divine flow, and then of course, there's always invoking the Reiki symbols as another method. I also know people who access that energy through cooking, baking, and some who connect through orgasm! Ask yourself, what is the thing I love to do where my mind quiets, my heart opens and I feel at peace with everything... even just for a little while. Do that and maintain that feeling of openness the rest of the day. You'll thank me for it later. 😉

Elena HarderJoyGasm Founder and Self Love Expert

The "Feeling when you get there" is totally true.  I love Tamara's truth and reality that it's not always easy to find that space, but we all uniquely know what gets us there.  From there, enjoy the journey, and thank her later!  I've had the pleasure of getting to know Tamara in person and her wit never ceases to amuse and amaze me.  

What is your take on self-love? Why is it important, and what's the most powerful way you've found to do it?

Self love is where one values themselves enough to make themselves a priority in their own life. Fill your cup so you have something to offer others. The best way to do it is to first evaluate what they need most in their life to put them in motion to achieving it.

Boundary setting, self nurture time, removing the fear of change, and “control” often comes up, so redirecting their awareness to controlling their response rather than trying to control the situation supports them in that.

What is your biggest struggle in your relationships right now?

Not having a romantic relationship for five years, I’m deferring to my “friend” experiences.

My personal relationships struggle when I over extend myself for my friend and then feel resentful when (I feel) its not appreciated or reciprocated.

How has that changed since you started learning about self-love?

Self love has taught that if I’ve made the choice to extend myself for my friend, then I honor that. I honor my choice and my actions as a result. I love myself enough to not focus on how they respond, rather I accept my role and my choices

What's the most important skill you've learned to help you deal with the challenges of being in relationships?

Boundaries & compassion

What has been the biggest unexpected challenge you've had in creating your great work in the world?

I’m finding that people love to talk about their misery, explore it and analyze it, but very few want to do something about it, nor pay for the support in doing it.